mindless theater presents: episode three -- back to jesus

jamelah says:
i got a new computer at work today
firecracker says:
sweet jesus
firecracker says:
mmmmmmmmm
firecracker says:
really?
jamelah says:
chocolate jesus.
firecracker says:
have you named it yet?
jamelah says:
no.
jamelah says:
i'm boring
firecracker says:
i think you mean chocolate genius
jamelah says:
chocolate genius, chocolate jesus... same thing, really
firecracker says:
well one is a musical act
firecracker says:
and the other is well
firecracker says:
a confectionary savior
jamelah says:
a religious figure dipped in chocolate?
firecracker says:
or that
firecracker says:
hey
firecracker says:
remember the jesus action figure we saw?
jamelah says:
yes
jamelah says:
hahahaha
jamelah says:
i really wish i'd have bought that
firecracker says:
why didn't we buy one of those again?
firecracker says:
exactly
firecracker says:
we have too many regrets for being so young
jamelah says:
i know, it's just... sad, really
jamelah says:
think if you were a kid and you had the jesus action figure
jamelah says:
you could win any action figure battle
jamelah says:
because, well... the son of god would just show up and kick everyone's asses
jamelah says:
and then later tell everyone about peace and love
jamelah says:
that would be awesome
firecracker says:
but
firecracker says:
does he have a kung fu grip?
jamelah says:
i can't believe i didn't check
jamelah says:
kung fu christ
firecracker says:
i think i smell an animated series in our future
jamelah says:
oh yeah
jamelah says:
jesus and the gang
firecracker says:
who would be the voice of kung fu jesus?
jamelah says:
with the 12 apostles
jamelah says:
um... jerry seinfeld?
jamelah says:
or jean-claude van damme
jamelah says:
one or the other
firecracker says:
i was thinking jackie chan
jamelah says:
jackie chan
jamelah says:
you're brilliant
firecracker says:
oh i know
jamelah says:
j.c. plays j.c.
firecracker says:
hahahah
firecracker says:
now we need a theme song
firecracker says:
oh
firecracker says:
wait!
firecracker says:
i've got to praise you like i shouuuuuld
jamelah says:
yes, yes
jamelah says:
so who would be the villain? satan? who's gonna play satan?
firecracker says:
hmmmm
firecracker says:
Tiffani Amber Theissen?
firecracker says:
no wait
firecracker says:
too obvious
jamelah says:
you're right
firecracker says:
well let's see...
jamelah says:
how about diedra hall (or however you spell it)
firecracker says:
ahhh yes
firecracker says:
good ole' deirdre
jamelah says:
she was pretty good at being evil when she was possessed by the devil on days of our lives
firecracker says:
but would that be typecasting?
firecracker says:
oh wait
firecracker says:
i've got it!
firecracker says:
CARROT TOP
jamelah says:
i hate carrot top
firecracker says:
well there you go
jamelah says:
i'd pick yahoo serious over carrot top
firecracker says:
i can see it now
firecracker says:
"dial down the middle, christ!"
firecracker says:
christ: HIII-YAAAAAAAH!
jamelah says:
oh good lord
firecracker says:
that's what i'm saying
jamelah says:
how can you not?
firecracker says:
now you need to find our 12 apostles
jamelah says:
shit
jamelah says:
that's a lot of casting
jamelah says:
can't we hire someone to handle that?
firecracker says:
sure
firecracker says:
i'm pretty sure that gary coleman needs a job
jamelah says:
great
jamelah says:
i also think that gary coleman should be the voice of peter
jamelah says:
i'm sure he'll agree
firecracker says:
peter?
jamelah says:
whenever jesus says something, he could say, "whatchoo talkin' 'bout, jesus?"
firecracker says:
that's gold
firecracker says:
right there
firecracker says:
it's a wrap
jamelah says:
i think i'm late for work


----

this concludes our series for today... tune in next week when you'll hear firecracker say:

"and... wheeeeeeeeeeeee"

mindless theater presents: (conversation, in a nutshell)

jamelah says:
am i wrong to be disturbed by the fact that when i walked into my bathroom just now, there was a pistachio sitting on my bathmat?
firecracker says:
did it say anything?
jamelah says:
no, it just sat there
firecracker says:
staring at you?
firecracker says:
with or without a shell?
jamelah says:
with a shell
jamelah says:
are you gathering information for a poem?
jamelah says:
you are, aren't you?
firecracker says:
was it one of those red ones?
jamelah says:
no, a green one
firecracker says:
shawoo
firecracker says:
you're lucky
jamelah says:
you seem to have great distrust for the red pistacchios
firecracker says:
i'd have to recommend quarantine if it were a red one
firecracker says:
well it's just common sense
firecracker says:
you're the one that came to me with this problem
jamelah says:
yeah... and the sad thing is, i just left it sitting there
firecracker says:
do you think it just got out of the shower?
jamelah says:
maybe that's it
jamelah says:
hahaha
firecracker says:
pistachios....
firecracker says:
this is definitely a clue

just when you thought it was safe... mindless theater!

jamelah says:
here in michigan, a medium is about 12 ounces
jamelah says:
at least at a movie theater
firecracker says:
no way
firecracker says:
it's like at the movie theater
jamelah says:
they are cheatin' bastards
firecracker says:
everything is supersized
firecracker says:
of course so are the prices
firecracker says:
7 bucks for that order i swear
jamelah says:
7 bucks for a coke and some junior mints?
firecracker says:
yep
jamelah says:
sweet jesus
firecracker says:
that should be a candy
firecracker says:
sweet jesus
firecracker says:
i'd like a box of sweet jesus please
firecracker says:
and a SMALL coke
jamelah says:
HAHA
jamelah says:
is sweet jesus chocolate-coated?
firecracker says:
hmmmm
firecracker says:
i think so
firecracker says:
it probably involves raisins
jamelah says:
ah. i don't like raisins.
jamelah says:
they're just chewy, dried out grape skin


stay tuned for the next episode when you hear jamelah say : "you seem to have great distrust for the red pistachios"

mindless theater presents: brilliance.

firecracker says:
oh hey
firecracker says:
did you get your hair cut?
jamelah says:
nah
jamelah says:
i have to stress over that decision for a few weeks
firecracker says:
that's a good plan
jamelah says:
yeah
jamelah says:
it takes me a long time to decide what to do with my hair... i think i spend more time thinking about my hair than anyone else on earth
jamelah says:
thinks about theirs, that is
jamelah says:
i don't know... i haven't cut my hair for over a year. i'll probably go through separation anxiety.
firecracker says:
well i want the hair when you cut it
firecracker says:
y'know for the litkicks store
jamelah says:
right
firecracker says:
locks of litkicks
jamelah says:
a lock of jamelah's hair goes for how much these days?
firecracker says:
i'd say at least $20
jamelah says:
fuck, dude... i'm shaving my head
jamelah says:
20 bucks a lock? i'd be rich.
jamelah says:
i've got a lot of hair.
firecracker says:
hahah
firecracker says:
i'm going to quote you on this
firecracker says:
jamelah says:
fuck, dude... i'm shaving my head
jamelah says:
haha
jamelah says:
i should post this
firecracker says:
yes you should, it needs to come to the people
jamelah says:
they need to know the going rate for my hair
firecracker says:
i smell an auction brewing
firecracker says:
you should include a lock in your book
firecracker says:
jamelah's hair.... and other good stories
jamelah says:
heh