monday's child should run like hell (and other funny stories of my youth)

ahhh monday. what an appropriate topic... for... a ... monday. ahem. while monday may seem to be an unwitting scapegoat for the ills of the world, i don't generally believe in innocence so easily. monday wants you to think it's just a victim of awful placement in the week -- the truth is that monday kicks people in the balls and laughs about it. it doesn't just laugh about it, it laughs about it while you're writhing around in pain and then goes and tells all its friends what a worthless schmuck you are.

ball crushing aside, the mamas and the papas once sang "monday, monday... can't trust that day"... i think we should heed these words. 'it's just a day' you might think... and it's exactly that kind of thinking that gets you into trouble. what other day repeatedly proclaims itself to be an 'observed' holiday... prolonging your weekend, only to come back the next week uglier and more powerful? the lure of the three day weekend is too much for most, and you buy into the Memorial Days... the Labor Days... the Columbus Days, et al. but no matter how you look at it, monday is still just a weekday in weekend's clothing. the next thing you know, your schedule is thrown off, not only do you have all the other mondays to shrink back in fear from, you now have tuesday forced into being monday's prison bitch. of course monday puts its hands up in helpless protest... "it's not my fault," it says... "talk to the government". (don't even get me started on how the government is completely infested with monday's corruption.)

one last piece of evidence that monday is the satan of all days: the song "manic monday" by the bangles. this song is so horrid and should never have been written, let along sung. it offers no insight, no sage wisdom... just trite pop musings over a trashy background track that was probably composed by monday itself.

monday: don't say i didn't warn you.