All You Need Is Glue
Jamelah: chips and salsa is an okay dinner, right?
Caryn: i have it quite often, so it must be
Caryn: and dude
Caryn: Cruise Ship Escapes Pirate Hijack Attempt
Caryn: i suppose that shouldn't be funny
Jamelah: it's awesome
Jamelah: of course, i'm evil
Caryn: of course then there's this: Man glued to toilet seat, sues store
Jamelah: i saw that
Caryn: shortly followed by
Caryn: Man Sues Ex-Girlfriend Over Glue Attack
Caryn: is glue becoming the new menace?
Caryn: why would you even want to publicize this
Caryn: Kenneth Slaby is suing his ex-girlfriend -- for gluing his you-know-what to his stomach. The Pittsburgh man also charges that Gail O'Toole glued his butt cheeks together
Caryn: butt cheeks
Caryn: since when does the news say "butt cheeks"?
Jamelah: maybe she thought it was a fraternity hazing
Caryn: Gail O'Toole
Caryn: that sounds fake
Jamelah: i'm just cracking up
Jamelah: because i'm wondering
Jamelah: did she do this all in one go?
Caryn: A Pittsburgh man took the stand yesterday in Westmoreland County Court to detail how "scared and puzzled" he was when his former girlfriend painted his body with nail polish and Super-Glued his genitals and buttocks.
Jamelah: or did she glue the penis one day and the butt cheeks another day?
Caryn: i'm totally crying laughing
Caryn: scared and puzzled
Caryn: i can see him scratching his head
Caryn: stroking his chin
Jamelah: what's going on here?
Caryn: well i'll be!
Caryn: sumbuddy glued my nads!
Caryn: doesn't that beat all???
Caryn: /can't breathe
Jamelah: at least she didn't cut it off
Jamelah: because, well, i'm sure that would be worse
Jamelah: which reminds me
Jamelah: do you remember that story that feral posted on litkicks forever ago about some woman cutting off her boyfriend's ass?
Jamelah: and then we wrote a limerick about it?
Caryn: i mean ... which time?
Jamelah: i don't remember any of the details except thinking "who cuts OFF someone's ASS?"
Caryn: yeah that seems pretty difficult
Jamelah: especially when you could just glue his nads
Caryn: because really the glue's doing all the work